Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
