I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize