Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
