News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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