No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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