He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
