I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i think my mom watched the whole time
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize