im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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