If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
