Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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