I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize