At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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