Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
