Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
