All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
