Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
