There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
