i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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