Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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