No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
