Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
