i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
True strength comes from lack of pants
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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