yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
