You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
