woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
