Just mADE A PArabola og urine
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize