Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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