don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
