Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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