Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
