yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
