Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
