There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize