will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
