I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
