the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
