i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
