You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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