i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
