I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
