your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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