Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
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