Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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