i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i need some magic done to my vagina
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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