Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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