why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
