need another drink. this is the easiest way
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You can't just leave with hair like that
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize