just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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