I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Found your dick twin last night
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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