is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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