Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
