we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
