she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
