yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
