No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
