I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
