a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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