You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize